I waddled back from the fitness room real excited this morning. Dolly-girl was still asleep and, turns out she was in no mood to chat. I let her be for awhile while I went out for a walk. I was so light on my toes I couldn't believe it. I was taking the Javier Boleyn's 2-Step diet seriously.When I got back, she was awake and reading. "What's got you tripping the light fantastic, Jack?" "Well, you know, yesterday was a long one, and I didn't eat much, and then there's the whole praying for the lifting of the LARD thing, but this seems too good to be true. I weighed myself down in the fitness room, and it says 113. That means I lost over 140 pounds on the flight over!"
She looked over Marcel Proust and under the wave. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Jack, but didn't you tell me something about the metric system?" "Oh, yeah. Well, I said it was too good to be true. 
But I'll tell you, it's sure going to be hard to stay on the DUH! Diet with a Boulangier on every corner and tasty fromage stacked up like cod...
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